its either inspiration or discouragement...

sadness or euphoria...

So. Sasha Cohen. drop dead gorgeous, yes? Yeah.

Loved her program... coreography, costume, music... beautifulness...

So why can't everybody (and by everybody I of course mean ME) be so fortunate as to simply be able to work one's ass off and actually get where you were trying to go by doing so? Doesn't sound so hard. I mean, HArd, yes.. complicated.. No. supposedly. But then things crop up you weren't expecting... things you should squash and be done with but are not. Some you know you could, so thats all fine, but then theres the one's you have this little intuition that you couldn't even if you tried. And you can't try, actually, its not that sort of thing. Heh. most people don't have that sort of bothersome thing though. not fair. Would be ironic if I ruined everything out of pride when I don't have any left when it comes to everything else. As certain people like to point out to me.

don't worry, you weren't supposed to understand that. I shall stop talking crypticly now

One of the figure skaing commentators (i get such a kick out of them, by the way..) said something that made me think for half a second at one point... something along the lines of "potential being the biggest burden." I haven't decided about the THE biggest part, but its come to think of it, it is pretty damn big. How incredibly annoying. I have actually always known that though, its one of the reasons I can only very rarely being actually pleased with what I do, and even more rarely be content with what I have done. and why I don't feel like I should be or have reason to be pleased anyway.

What IS with people spewing little gems of truthfulnes that are depressingly applicable to me? Psychic ballet teachers who understand you before you understand yourself... figure skating commentators... I think Sasha Cohen actually said something impressively deep at one point.. verging on the edge of corny I think, but I don't remember what it was anyway.

Yeah. definitely 12:40. definitley have a paper to write. and 50 pages to read and think about. And a 5 chapter test to study for. nice. so much for coming off a week's vacation from school nice and relaxed, eh? I'm not really feelin the sleep thing so much tonight, nope.